When you believe you can’t, you won’t.
When you believe you can, you will.
Teaching you how to believe you can is what we do best.
If you wanted it, you’d have it.
So if you don’t have it, you must not really want it.
I wanted an epic love story…but I kept dating avoidant men who were allergic to their feelings.
I wanted a fulfilling career…but I felt trapped in my socially-acceptable job that bored me to tears, even if I wasn’t really ready to admit that to myself.
I wanted to feel comfortable and happy in my body…but didn’t want to be naked anywhere, including my own bedroom, if the lights were on.
I wanted enough money to have a nice house, travel the world, and support the causes I cared about…but I felt doomed to always being financially behind, or having to trade meaningful work for a soulless paycheck.
Bottom line: If we don’t have confidence that we can create something, we don’t try.
It’s truly as simple as that.
When we believe we can, we do.
When we believe we can’t, we won’t.
So if you aren’t living the life you want to be right now, it’s not because it’s not available to you.
It’s not because you’re not good enough.
It’s not because you don’t deserve it.
It’s not because the world is conspiring against you, your boss won’t let you, the dating pool is trash, your parents sucked, your body is in the way, or your brain isn’t good enough.
Which is why you know intellectually you’ve accomplished a lot and other people think you’ve done well, but you don’t really feel like you earned or deserved it.
It’s why you want to believe that you’re fully deserving of love, but you just don’t feel it.
It’s why you know you’re “supposed to” believe in yourself, but you still second-guess and doubt yourself on the daily.
Be honest: How many things did you think would make you confident 10 or 15 years ago which you’ve now achieved or experienced…without actually feeling much different?
Believe me, I wish circumstances worked to change our feelings! They just…don’t.
But I believe it with my whole heart. Because I changed my entire life by changing my confidence.
And I’m proof that someone who is outside the mainstream can be wildly successful by learning to be confident in who she is.
I told you what my 30s were like at the top of this page.
By the time I was 40?
I had quit a law-professor-track career at an Ivy League university to become a life coach. Talking to women about their feelings. On the internet, no less.
I had not only survived dating as a fat woman in Manhattan but actually thrived, finding my adoring husband and having fun along the way – without losing a pound. (And now I happily have sex with allll the lights on. ;))
I had left a job that was serious and prestigious but didn’t light me up and built a business doing something I love that pays better than being burnt out and bored ever did (and lets me work from anywhere on my own schedule to boot!)
And most importantly, I had taught thousands of women all over the world how to be more confident too.
And now, at almost 45, I’m the author of a New York Times-bestselling book, the host of a podcast with 55 million downloads, and the founder of The School of New Feminist Thought, the leading feminist coaching company in the world which has bootstrapped to $27,000,000 in revenue and made me a multi-millionaire.
Because of coaching, I navigated and left an abusive relationship. I got into a new field of work and in less than 2 months became the top performer on my team, and almost doubled my salary. I started a side business and have been pursuing it in spite of doubt and fear and failure. I am much more kind to myself in vulnerable moments and receiving positive feedback from my close family and friends about the changes they see in me. I feel confident that I have all the tools I need to create the life I want!
What is it you truly want more of in your life?
What are the dreams you don’t fully admit to yourself?
What is the outcome you just haven’t been able to get?
Those are the stops on this journey.
And I want you to take that journey. I want you to discover what you’re really capable of.
That’s why I’ve created a brand-new coaching program for the first time since 2018.
Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence – self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-belief and self-actualization – to create any outcome you want in your life.
From the incredibly concrete (get promoted to VP) to the most ineffable (love myself more), these four skills will get you where you want to go.
This complete learning experience was designed with a behavioral-change expert for all learning styles, and includes:
:: Live teaching calls plus recordings and transcripts
:: Between-session practices to apply skills consistently
:: Access to both live and written coaching for personalized support
What’s Included:
:: Our full 12-month guided confidence-building curriculum with all tools, videos, and materials
:: Quarterly training in the four Confidence Compass skills:
:: Two live group coaching calls per month with me (Kara!)
:: Two skills-practice workshops per month with certified coaches
:: A private, members-only community with direct support from myself and our coaching staff
:: Deep-Dives into the five application areas:
What’s Included:
This tier includes everything in the Foundational tier PLUS:
:: Two private coaching calls each month with your own dedicated confidence coach, personally trained by me in our signature methodology
:: 12 months of consistent support from a coach who deeply understands:
:: A confidential space to receive individualized coaching on the most sensitive, complex, or emotionally charged areas of your life—allowing you to process challenges, make decisions, and create breakthroughs with personalized guidance instead of trying to figure everything out alone.
:: Powerful accountability from a coach who knows your story and keeps you on track, helping you apply the Confidence Compass skills in real time so you build momentum faster and experience measurable progress month after month.
Because your time is your most valuable resource for achieving your goals.
My family is noticing that I am not late as much, I’m not working at the last minute as much, I’m managing the flow of my day with more balance and serving double the clients in one business and managing increasingly complicated operations in my product-based business.
I’ve made a ton of progress. I am more flexible in my reasoning and less married to my narratives. I feel more confident about my abilities. I’m pursuing a different, more fulfilling career, which is something I was definitely not confident enough to do before.
Because who wants to spend 40+ hours a week feeling insecure and like an imposter when they could be showing up like a boss instead.
Plus, we’ll work on your confidence around earning, saving, spending and investing is what every woman needs to live an independent powerful life.
Because married or single, we all want more love, connection, intimacy, and fun.
In 2 years I have:
So thank you Kara again and thank you to all the members that have coached me, been coached by me, supported me, listened to me, cheered me on, and related to me♡ I have so much love for all of you.
I have completely changed my thoughts on my relationship with my father. In the past I heard everything he spoke as criticism directed at me. I “let him hurt my feelings”. We recently went to dinner, and he kept making comments to me about what I was eating, drinking, how I was sitting…..and for the first time in my lifetime, I did not get offended. I did not make his words mean anything about me. It was such an amazing feeling! Best family dinner ever!
Solo kid of a single mom or one of a clan of 10, partnered and parenting or single with chosen family, no matter the family format you do not have to spend your family time crying in the bathroom anymore!
Setting and achieving even bigger goals without self-criticism, burnout, or fear of failure is the secret to blowing your own mind with who you can become and what you can achieve.
As a coach, Kara delivers a rare combination of intelligence, compassion, courage, and intuition. She is relentlessly committed to giving you what you need to reach your goals – even if it’s different from what you thought you wanted – and you, your life, and your business will be forever better for it. In six months, Kara facilitated more emotional growth and clarity than anything I’ve experienced in any other setting. In an industry full of people selling snake oil and overnight success, Kara is the real deal.
There will be live teaching calls for those who like to learn live, group integration and implementation calls, recordings and transcripts for those who prefer to learn asynchronously, practices for you to do between calls, and access to both live and written coaching for individualized support.
These 2x-monthly calls with one of our confidence coaches are a private opportunity to get live confidential coaching on any sensitive or sticky area in your life, with the accountability and support of a consistent coach all year.
Equivalent 1:1 coaching outside our program can easily cost $5,000 every three months for, which adds up to $20,000 a year!
But for members of A Confident Life, you can add on this 1:1 coaching package for only $5,000 a year.
That’s $15,000 saved to invest in your dream life in other ways.
The Impossible Goal Workshop is your opportunity to go deeper — to set a goal so meaningful it changes who you are in the process.
You’ll get access to the full one-day, in-person workshop (or its recording if you prefer to learn on your own time).
Bonus #2 (For webinar attendees only!):
This bonus scores you a seat in my small group Virtual VIP Half-Day Coaching Intensive, where I’ll personally coach you through your unique goals and help you put everything into action.
With this bonus, you’re not just getting one deep dive — you’re getting two transformational containers that work together to create unstoppable momentum.
Whether you join live or catch the replay, you’ll walk away with clarity, confidence, and a plan that blows your own mind.
Stay connected between sessions with my exclusive Telegram channel.
Once a month, you’ll get private audio messages packed with behind-the-scenes insights, self-coaching examples, and teachings you won’t find anywhere else.
This is your chance to go deeper, hear how I apply these tools in real life and stay inspired as you implement your own growth.
When you pay in full, you’ll also unlock Quarterly Bonus Workshops on powerful topics like:
Led by my team of expert coaches (and occasional guest specialists), these sessions are designed to support your whole self as you evolve.
Before coaching… I was killing myself with self hatred. Now I am the most confident I’ve ever been. The sexiest I’ve ever felt. The strongest, the calmest, the healthiest. The fiercest. This work takes time and practice and isn’t always easy, but it’s the most important work we can do.
I’m a graduate of Yale College and Harvard Law School, and in my former life I was a women’s rights attorney and academic.
Since becoming a coach I’ve taught thousands of women all over the world how to live a confident life through cognitive change work. I specialize in teaching women step-by-step processes to change their beliefs so they can create lives that blow their minds. I’m the host of the top-ranked UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast (55 million downloads and counting!) and the author of the New York Times-bestseller “Take Back Your Brain.”
I drink iced coffee year-round and when I’m not working you’ll find me reading novels in a hammock by the creek next to my 200-year-old farmhouse upstate, or corralling my family of excitable racoons (by which I mean husband and step-kids) in a brownstone in Brooklyn. I enjoy cheap pizza, expensive travel, and asking people inappropriately deep questions in social situations.
Everything I’ve created in my life – $27,000,000 in boot-strapped business revenue; a healthy, happy (and yes still sexy) marriage; a positive relationship with my body; a bestselling book – came from learning how to build my confidence in myself to do anything I want to do. A Confident Life will teach you how to do it too.
Coaching has completely changed my life. I am so much more compassionate to myself, and that really is the key to life. I healed relationships with my family, I found a career I love and that pays me way too much. I could go on and on!
Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence – self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-belief and self-actualization – to create any outcome you want in your life.
From the incredibly concrete (get promoted to VP) to the most ineffable (love myself more), these four skills will get you where you want to go.
This complete learning experience was designed with a behavioral-change expert for all learning styles, and includes:
:: Live teaching calls plus recordings and transcripts
:: Between-session practices to apply skills consistently
:: Access to both live and written coaching for personalized support
What’s Included:
:: Our full 12-month guided confidence-building curriculum with all tools, videos, and materials
:: Quarterly training in the four Confidence Compass skills:
:: Two live group coaching calls per month with me (Kara!)
:: Two skills-practice workshops per month with certified coaches
:: A private, members-only community with direct support from myself and our coaching staff
:: Deep-Dives into the five application areas:
What’s Included:
This tier includes everything in the Foundational tier PLUS:
:: Two private coaching calls each month with your own dedicated confidence coach, personally trained by me in our signature methodology
:: 12 months of consistent support from a coach who deeply understands:
:: A confidential space to receive individualized coaching on the most sensitive, complex, or emotionally charged areas of your life—allowing you to process challenges, make decisions, and create breakthroughs with personalized guidance instead of trying to figure everything out alone.
:: Powerful accountability from a coach who knows your story and keeps you on track, helping you apply the Confidence Compass skills in real time so you build momentum faster and experience measurable progress month after month.
This is a great question! No, it’s not. I’m not saying you should tell yourself that you can fly and then jump out a window because you believe it’s true.
You’re thinking of the confidence of being someone who has accomplished the goal.
What I’m talking about is the confidence of being someone who believes in their ability to accomplish the goal.
We all hyper-focus on the first kind, and then we wait around hoping circumstances will make it arrive. But they never do.
The second kind of confidence is what actually helps you accomplish the goal – and then when you get there, you’re already confident anyway.
You and me both, my friend.
And I think that’s totally ok.
In my opinion it’s kind of punitive-parenting clean-your-plate vibes to insist to yourself that you have to have completed every course, program, or class you ever signed up for before you’re allowed to try anything new.
That being said, we know how to work with your brain. That’s why we take advantage of the well-documented New Year’s motivation and change boost to learn about time management first in the program, so that by the time that natural boost wears off, you now have better time management skills to allow you to follow through on the rest of the program. We’re sneaky smart like that.
The Confidence Compass is an entirely new tool that has not been taught before. Each life topic in the curriculum has also been updated to integrate this new tool, and to be brought up to date with my latest teaching.
A Confident Life is also a very different structure, as a group program where everyone moves through the curriculum over the course of the year together, with concept learning, integration exercises, and coaching across multiple formats.
Bottom line, you’ll recognize some of the concepts and exercises, but the two programs are very different.
I’m definitely NOT saying that. I’ve been a professional feminist one way or another my entire life, from media work at Planned Parenthood to litigating at the Center for Reproductive Rights to running a think tank on equality at Columbia Law School before I left to become a coach. I absolutely believe that systems can and do impact our lives.
But I don’t believe they absolutely determine them. And I believe the best form of resistance that marginalized people can create comes from belief in themselves, belief in their power, and belief in the possibility of change. I was responsible for bringing intersectional feminism to the coaching field, and all of my work is informed with a systemic analysis that also recognizes the enormous power of personal change to change our lives and the world both.
Positive thinking and affirmations are the junk food of cognitive change. They look really appealing and taste delicious in the moment, but they don’t give you any nutritional fuel and can even make you feel worse than you did before.
These things don’t work because they are not custom-fit to your brain, and you don’t get any emotional payoff from them (because you don’t believe them) so they don’t produce new neural pathways.
Real cognitive change strategies focus on where your brain is now, where you are trying to go and crucially how you actually get from one to the other step by step. That’s what we specialize in teaching you how to do, using thoughts you can already believe to build the ladder one rung at a time.
I have some bad news for you about being a human: There’s always some crazy shit going on.
Whether it’s inside your house or in the stock market, there’s always chaos somewhere. If you wait until everything feels chill, you’ll die still waiting.
I’d rather you sign up, do 1/10th of the work, and learn even just a few things that help you feel more peaceful, powerful and capable to navigate your life than that you sit around forever waiting for the perfect time, and die without having ever really gotten control of what’s going on in your mind. Perfectionism = the death of your potential.
Nope.
You know who thinks about themselves a LOT? People who don’t like themselves.
You know who barely thinks about themselves at all? People who have strong self-confidence and are busy doing other fun, impactful, challenging, and rewarding shit with their lives.
Glad we had this chat!
Let’s fucking go.
Kara’s coaching is magical! It’s a blend of compassion and tough love and straightforward logic that makes you laugh, cry, and want to go forth and be unstoppable.