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I think the biggest thing is that I have space and quiet in my brain. Like all of that hurrying and worrying and anxiety and running around has been replaced with a brain that is allowed to think what it wants, a body that is willing to feel and process emotions, and a calm that everything will work out as it needs to. I’m letting life happen and also working towards the things I actually want. It’s been beautiful.
Since I joined, my life has literally changed in every way possible. I began the process of healing my childhood trauma. I left a marriage that was no longer serving me. I quit my job in the heat of the pandemic. I completely changed my money story. I’ve become best friends with my ex-husband. I quit all substances I was using to cope. And I did all this while watching my dear friend die of cancer, putting my beloved dog of fifteen years down, and recovering from reconstructive knee surgery. I share this because one of these life circumstances would have sent me emotionally spiraling before joining. But learning the art of processing and accepting my emotions allowed me to grieve in a beautiful, clean way. But, the most important progress I have made is the relationship I have with myself. I’ve changed the voice inside my head from an abusive asshole to a fierce and nurturing best friend. This has changed EVERYTHING; from how I dress, to who I spend time with, what I focus on, the decisions I make and on and on and on.
Being in this program has helped me with my anxiety and emotional regulation more than a year of therapy!
I’m happier in my SELF in every way. That has made the quality of all my relationships so much better. My marriage is better, kids are better, friendships too! I’m no longer kicking my own ass for so long if I fall short of a way I want to think or behave. It’s legitimately changed my life and I tell everyone about it.
A fantastic example of how thought work is the best thing ever is that I overcame a breakup within 3-4 months just by loving myself exquisitely, to use Kara’s term. Understanding that there’s nothing wrong with me … was a game changer. I was able to acknowledge and therefore grow my inherent value as a lovable woman. I dated and took “exquisite care” of myself. Guess what? Eleven months after, I met my current partner.
My body image went from disordered eating and never looking in the mirror, to loving my butt and thighs and not thinking about what I eat outside of enjoying it. I can actually rest and take time off without shaming myself the whole time, and I’ve freed up so much brain energy that I’m now launching a business and holding down a full-time biotech job at the same time, which I would never have thought I was capable of.
Every day I use a tool. I have learned to observe my thoughts and feelings in a way I never even knew was possible. I have made changes to my business and relationships that have reduced my anxiety by at least a million. I recently did a professional headshot and went in with confidence instead of self-criticism. I remember when people would say that you need to love yourself and I was like, “Well how the fuck am I supposed to do that?” Now I have the tools to actually do that!
I’ve overcome my fear of success, landed a leadership role in a fantastic startup, improved my romantic relationship, recovered 90% from my people-pleasing tendencies, and am finally starting to live for myself instead of others. Now I’m in a healthy professional culture among smart, like-minded people who believe in me and want to see me succeed. I feel like my potential is quite literally UNLIMITED and I can handle anything that comes my way.
It feels like all the secrets to the universe are inside this program. It also feels like a club — many times in my life I have felt super lonely. Now I know there are others in the world who believe that life can be richer and happier and aren’t content to just stay in a rut. I wanted to improve myself, uplevel myself and I didn’t know how. I was reading all the self-help books but not getting anywhere. Now I feel like I know how to improve my life and I am actively working on that.
I love how much it’s changed my life. My husband, friends, and sister have all noticed how much happier and calmer I am. I have such a feeling of peace now. Other people’s feelings do not derail my entire week like they used to! I’m trusting my own authority so much more and apologizing so much less (for things that aren’t my fault). I feel so much more secure and am finally starting to be the kind of friend to myself that I am to others!
I was pretty much at breaking point with my anxiety when I joined. Now I’m not and I didn’t even have to quit my job to do it which seems like a miracle from where I was last year. I don’t live every waking minute terrified about what my boss is thinking and I’m actually okay with him thinking negative thoughts about me.
I was able to successfully manage an international move after years of living overseas. Every day my brain screamed that it was too much and we’d never get it all done. Every day I told myself that small things matter, and I should do one small thing. The screaming in my brain was paralyzing, but, with the thought work tools I’d learned, I was able to accomplish it.
I’m a self-employed bookkeeper. Every time I have a new client consultation, I quote a higher rate. It’s so much fun. I’m now quoting double what I used to quote when I first got coaching. But more than that, I really trust myself more than ever. I’m learning to feel my feelings and be present with them; I’m not afraid of having feelings. I don’t get overwhelmed the way I used to. My voice inside my head is gentle and loving toward myself and everyone around me. I believe in fun possibilities, and am confident in my ability to make changes.
I am more comfortable in my own skin. I do not see my body as my enemy any longer. I have come to understand and be able to implement some boundaries. I no longer treat my spouse and child as emotional vending machines. I have tools for self-regulation, and I use them. I have come to believe that I am not the problem, perhaps I’m a gift. I have come to believe that just because the sentence runs through my mind it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is objective truth. Doing C+ work is where it’s at!
The teachings have helped me so much already. The major breakthrough from the Feminist Mindset Fix, that I think everyone experiences, is to actually feel my feelings instead of avoiding them. It has been so helpful, especially in my high-pressure moments of being the primary caregiver to my toddler when I am overstimulated by her or enraged at something my husband did/didn’t do … I am so much more open to feeling my feelings while also not necessarily buying into the thoughts that accompany them.
My business is growing. I am more empowered with my money and the decisions I make with my money. I am so much more out there on social media (huge for me)! I care less about what people think and more about what I think. I don’t judge myself when I have a bad or negative thought or feeling. I allow myself to feel it and move through my body. I am so much more organised and productive! I don’t beat myself up as much if I don’t get everything done in a day. I’m getting more done using Kara’s method. I’m happier, more myself.
I’m not surprised by the level of thoroughness and thoughtfulness of this program. I think what has surprised me the most is that I have only really partially digested/integrated/absorbed/participated in the materials and I am so much less hard on myself in all areas of my life, and more confident, and just generally less worried and stressed about nearly everything. It’s not even a half-managed mind. It’s like a quarter-managed mind, and it’s so much better even at that.
The tools I’ve learned have also radically affected my parenting. I am so much less attached to my kids’ outcomes. They can be mad or sad, they can fuss and cry, and I can still feel like I’m doing just fine because they are allowed to have the full human experience with me or with anything else in their lives. I’m so much less “grippy” as a parent. In fact, I’m less “grippy” with every major relationship in my life, but it’s most obvious as a parent.
I am fantasizing less and less about how I would feel if I was thin (whatever that actually means). (On second thought Nothing. It means nothing.) I have a great time in the body I have now. I am better at daydreaming about the future I can enjoy without changing myself.
This program has changed so many of the ways that I think about myself, my life, and interacting with the world. It has also helped me understand other people’s “models” with more compassion, and take things less personally. Of course I still have lots to work on! But I feel like with these tools, there is hope for a life that is so much more powerful and free than I could have imagined.
I would willingly pay 5x as much for this program and still find it to be a great deal! I literally could not have imagined the extent that it would change my life compared to the other self-help programs I have tried.
There’s something for everyone. There’s no “one size fits all.” You can get out of it what you put into it, and work on MANY different aspects of your life to do so. I find myself being much more aware of what I do and how things make me feel and react. I used to be so reactionary in my life and make everything into a huge issue. Now I take the time to really work through it, and I find it’s much easier to cope.
It’s like a go-to, on-demand source of instant counseling for me. I love that it’s always there. I’ve been a member for years now and I do tend to self-coach throughout the day but I know when I get stuck the coaches will be there and it gives me that sense of security knowing there are people right there who can help and will make me see how this is just thoughts I’m thinking.
I am pleased to see how much things from my past do not bother me anymore. I have also grown less attached to words that other people say, and I thought it would make me cold but instead it has allowed me to feel a lot more empathy than before!
What progress HAVEN’T I made since joining? I can’t think of any area of my life that hasn’t benefited/where I haven’t grown from the work I’ve done to manage my mind.
