My Feminist Business Mastermind met in-person a few weeks ago and it was unbelievably inspiring to watch coaches come together to grow their businesses in ways that align with their values.

One of the ways we do this is by questioning everything.

Asking why we do the things we do in our businesses.

One of the most important things I encouraged the coaches to question in this mastermind was the ideas they have about how they can and cannot make money in their businesses.

For example, for a long time I used to think that the only coaches who could make real money were business coaches. 

But I also resisted offering business coaching myself because I would think “Who am I to do business coaching?”

Despite the fact that my business was growing year after year.

Despite the fact that I see how socialization really impacts the way that women show up in their businesses.

Despite the ways I see how regular business coaching does not address this.

Who am I to do business coaching? That bullsh*t is socialization! 

I started thinking instead that maybe I’m exactly the person who needs to teach this because no one’s talking about this stuff the way I’m seeing it play out.

And the Feminist Business Mastermind was born.

I shared the following during our in-person retreat, but I think these takeaways are so important – whether you own a business or not – that I wanted to share them here as well. Here are three money mindset lessons all women need to hear.

#1 The difference between the ask and the offer.

As human beings, we do not like to feel indebted to someone else. 

We much prefer to feel like we’re on equal footing. 

That’s why when you invite someone for dinner and expressly tell them not to bring anything, they usually show up with at least a bottle of wine or some small gift in hand anyway.

When we ask for a sale in our business, we feel like someone is doing us a favor if they give us money for the thing we’re selling. 

(And this mindset applies whether you own a business or not. For example, if you’re asking for a raise or promotion at work.)

We feel like it’s a gift they’re giving us if they say yes, like we’re indebted to them. 

The thing is, when we approach selling like this, we’re actually coming from a place of scarcity.

So, if someone says no, it feels truly terrible.

When we flip things from asking to offering, though, we’re coming from a place of generosity and abundance.

When we make an offer, we’re letting someone know we have something that we’re proud of and want to share with them.

While making more offers than asks can result in more yes’s than no’s, the real difference is the way you feel when you do receive rejection.

Receiving a no after making an ask vs. someone declining when you make an offer just lands differently.

Give it a try and see for yourself

#2 Women are taught to think that they are irresponsible with money. 

Women have been socialized to believe that they are just bad with money.

They are also taught that being good with money looks like budgeting and saving and that any debt is bad. That using a credit card is bad.

The majority of articles written about personal finance directed at women focus on budgeting and saving and being thrifty, while the majority of articles directed at men focus on investing and building wealth and taking risks.

And when you’re an entrepreneur, this idea of having to be frugal and thrifty and save isn’t really compatible, is it?

When you start a business, it will take time to fully contribute to household expenses and your 401(k) and whatever else you think is normal for it to contribute to.

But as women, we add this layer of morality to the performance of our business. 

And if after one month, it’s not already performing and sustaining us completely, that must mean something’s wrong and it isn’t working.

It must mean that we’re failing already.

When in reality, our business is just following the normal ups and downs of any new venture.

We have to learn how to think differently about our abilities to manage and create money. And what that looks like in the context of starting, running, and growing a business.

#3 Imagine that people can read your mind.

This goes back to lesson #1 a bit.

I spoke about this in the context of a presentation I gave at the Life Coach School Mastermind on taking massive action and how massive action is really a multiplier of your thoughts.

So, if you make an offer but on the inside you’re really thinking “I don’t actually think this offer is good enough, but please buy it so I can feel okay about myself,” those intentions will come through.

Those thoughts are what will cause you to not show up the way you want to.

In a way that will not create the result you want. 

So it’s crucial to make sure your thoughts are aligned with the result you actually want.

Whether you’re a coach or not, whether you own a business or not, your thoughts about money show up in every facet of your life.

You’ve heard the old saying “Money is power.”

That may be true, but I’d argue that true power comes from being able to choose what you believe.

So what will you choose to believe when it comes to yourself and money?