Would you believe me if I told you that this week only there is a way to get an absolutely private confidential one-to-one coaching session with me for only $29? And even better, it comes with a book that Brooke Castillo has called genius and Elise Loehnen has called brilliant and revelatory.

In this episode I’m going to tell you how you can finally pre-order my book ahead of everyone else. The amazing bonuses we’re giving away and how to get entered in a raffle for a private one-to-one coaching session with me for as little as one single book pre-order. Stay tuned because you are not going to want to miss this very time limited opportunity.

Welcome to UnF*ck Your Brain, feminist self-help for everyone brought to you by The School of New Feminist Thought. I’m your host, Kara Loewentheil, Harvard lawyer turned life coach extraordinaire. And I’m here to help you get society’s sexist messages out of your brain so you can be confident, feel powerful and live a life you won’t regret when you die.

If you want to jumpstart that process, you need to grab my totally free guide to feeling less anxious and more empowered by rewiring your brain. Just text your email to +1347 997 1784 and use code word, brain or go to unfuckyourbrain.com/brain. Now let’s get to today’s episode.

Hello my fine feathered friends. I have been waiting for this day for literal years. I feel like I sound like a TikTok influencer when I say that. Also are there TikTok influencers? I don’t even know because I don’t really have TikTok. The point is, I am really excited and you can tell. I grew up thinking that I would write a book and be an author. I just always thought that, I definitely. My parents were hoping for one author out of their children, although now with this book there will be two of us who have published books.

I thought that I would be a novelist, though maybe a poet. And then it turned out that I don’t really think of stories or characters, so that wasn’t going to happen. And I didn’t really want to be a professor. And I wanted to talk to more people than I would writing poetry by myself. So I didn’t become a poet either. But I always knew someday that somehow that I was going to have a book published.

And in January 2020 I went to an event hosted by my friend, Farnoosh Torabi about publishing a book because I wanted to start the process and I had no idea how to do it. I was starting from, I don’t know, I guess you get an agent, is that what you do? That was kind of where my level of knowledge was at. And now one pandemic, one engagement, thousands of society members later, I finally get to share all about my book with you. And I get to announce that it is now open for pre-order.

And I just wish that we had sound effects on this podcast like an early morning radio show because I would have trumpets of celebration or maybe a New Orleans brass band going. I am just so, so excited for this book to be out in the world. And I’m so excited for you all to be able to pre-order it because you have been listening to this podcast, you have been doing this work. We have been doing this together even if I don’t know your face and I don’t know your name.

I know that you’re out there listening and doing this work and I’m really, really excited to be able to offer you all because you are my podcast listeners, the chance to pre-order the book and get some amazing celebration bonuses. So in this episode I’m going to tell you all about the brand new concepts and tools and exercises that are in the book because I want you to know what’s in it. It is a lot of new stuff. Publishers do not give you book contracts and big advances for just writing down stuff that you’ve already shared for free in a podcast.

So when people ask me, “Is it just like the podcast?” No, that would be a bad business model for them. So the book is chock full of new ideas and tools and exercises, and really the best and highest articulation of my work and what I teach. And the most effective practices that I have been able to develop over the last few years are in the book. I am someone who read so fucking many self-help books in my day. And so many of them were just kind of regurgitated ideas that I had already read in various forms in other places.

I felt like a lot of self-help books could have been 10 page articles that someone had just sort of, I don’t know, fleshed out somehow into a book with a lot of pitter patter to take up the rest of the space. And I could also just kind of tell that a lot of them had been written by ghostwriters or I think they’re called collaborators now, which no shame to that at all. If you are not a good writer, I totally get why you would hire a writer to help you. Writing a book isn’t the same skill maybe as being a good coach or being a celebrity or whatever else so no shame in that game.

But I just knew for me that I, number one, wanted this book to feel like every page mattered, you were learning something new on every single page. You were not going to read this book and think that could have been summarized in a paragraph for me. I’ve read so many bad self-help books like that. This book is just packed full of knowledge and information and transformative exercises. It’s not super overly long or overly dense, but it’s just concise and powerful, so every little bit actually matters and is worth reading.

And I am blessed or cursed depending on how you look at it, by being a pretty good writer and caring a lot about how my book is written. So I wrote the whole Goddamn thing myself, which is very unusual in this field. But that means it’s really original and it’s unique and it sounds like me. So I really, truly believe it’s the best thought work book ever written because it takes into account the way that society teaches women to think about themselves. No other thought work book does that. So no other book can have the specific impact that this book can.

And it walks you through every step of the process and it answers all of those questions you have, all those concerns you have, all of those stumbling blocks you run into. If this book had been available when I was discovering thought work, I think I would have saved myself a solid three to five years of work because I would have understood why my brain was the way it was so much earlier in the process. And I would have had such better concrete tools to change my brain. And all the hard questions I had would have been answered in this book.

I wrote this book after so many years of coaching so many women. I did not write this book, one year into my career. I have coached and coached and coached my face off. I have developed a really unique body of work. So I deeply understand all of the objections that your brain throws at you when you hear the ideas I’m teaching or you try to change your own thoughts. When I used to read self-help books, I often felt like the advice they were giving me was, sure, that would work great if I was a dumb, dumb, but I have 17 conceptual objections and this book is not answering any of them.

My book expects you to have objections and expects you to have questions and it answers them. So if you’ve been thinking things like, but don’t I need to worry about other people’s feelings to be a good person? Or what happens if I believe things that are too positive about myself and I get delusional? Or, isn’t it victim blaming to tell people they cause their own emotions? Or does thought work mean I’m supposed to be happy no matter what happens? Or, but I have so much evidence for my current thoughts? Or what do I do if I don’t believe my new thought?

Or one of another million questions you might have. These questions and many more are all answered in the book. I mean, not literally a million, but you get what I mean. This book truly will change your life. And that is just not just me talking. The book has already gotten its first review, Publishers Weekly reviews books well before anybody else does. And the Publishers Weekly review called it a galvanizing and a motivating debut.

And my teacher, Brooke Castillo, called the book genius and said it will change thousands of women’s lives. And a number of many amazing authors have read the book and shared their thoughts on it. Elise Loehnen, who you heard me interview on this podcast, called it brilliant and revelatory. Dr. Marisa Franco, who’s also been on the podcast, reviewed it. Farnoosh Tarobi, reviewed it. Susan Hyatt, Tori Dunlap reviewed it. This is not your usual self-help book. This has been read by the best of the best in the industry and they are supporting it.

So you might take my word for it, but if not, you can take all of their words for it. It is really the best, most cutting edge, most useful and concrete, smartest work I’ve ever produced. And it’s now just all in one place from start to finish, just right there. The journey from who you are now to becoming the person you want to be, with the life you want to live, feeling liberated and confident in your own self. All you have to do is read the book.

So I’m going to go exactly into what’s in the book later in this episode, but I want to make sure you have the big picture highlights here. So that is the big picture highlight of the book. And I also want to tell you that we are offering some incredible free bonuses only when you pre-order the book through us. This is a win/win situation. Here is the deal. Anyone you support, podcaster, whoever, who has a book coming out, pre-orders are so, so important. They convince the publisher to print enough copies. They convince retailers to order the book. They are proof that somebody wants to read this book.

So if you have listened to this podcast and you have gotten value from it and you have ever wished you could just support, pay it back, pay it forward, pre-ordering a copy of the book is an amazing way to do that. But I want this to be a win/win and I want to celebrate how excited I am about this book so I’m sweetening the pot even though the book itself is 100% worth ordering. When you pre-order one or more copies from our site, takebackyourbrainbook.com, you get amazing free bonuses.

So first you’re going to get a 30 day guided journal. You can start right now to get more insight into your thoughts. It gives you 30 different prompts that I have come up with for, and that I use myself, for journaling, for really getting your thoughts out on paper and being able to start working with them. And specifically you get more insight into how you’ve learned to think about yourself. So when the book does arrive, you’re going to be starting from kind of you’re already past the starting point.

You’re going to be in an advanced place and really ready to go to town because you’ll have done all of this fleshing out already. I should also mention if you are in the UK, Australia or New Zealand, you guys have your own version of the book that’s coming out at the same time and there’s a link on the book site when you go to unfuckyourbrain.com/book. And you are directed to our book site, there’s a link at the top for you all. And we have a whole system for you to pre-order the book where it’s available in your specific edition and then send us your receipt so you can get the bonuses.

Same thing if you are international, if you live anywhere that is not the United States, Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. We also have a link for instructions for you so you can pre-order books and get the bonuses as well. We’re not leaving anyone out of the bonus bonanza. When you pre-order three or more copies of the book then you get to come to a live book club that I will be hosting online in June.

This is going to be a super fun way to work through the book, ask your questions, get some coaching and kind of create some space and a little immersion for yourself in thought work where you got a little bit of community and coaching and question and answer. But it’s not the same commitment as joining a coaching program. So that happens and that’s available when you order three or more copies.

This is a great book to gift to people, by the way. I have heard from people over the years that they want to share my podcast with people, but they just sort of feel like sending a podcast that says UnF*ck Your Brain, suggests to the recipient that the person sending it thinks their brain is fucked up, which is hilarious but I get it. The book, however, is a beautiful, perfect thing to gift because it’s called Take Back Your Brain. So it’s empowering, it’s positive, it implies nothing about the other person’s brain being at all fucked up.

So pre-ordering three copies, coming to the book club, I think is the best deal on the pre-order site, that is if you’re asking me how many copies you should pre-order or what’s my favorite bonus? This is the answer. Three copies, come to the book club, you, of course, also get that 30 day guided journal, you get both and you can gift your copies, give them away. Or when you check out on our site, we actually have a little box you can check if you want to donate your copies, if you don’t want to keep them yourself.

So pre-order one copy, you get the 30 day guided journal, pre-order three copies, you get that self-guided journal and the book club. When you pre-order 10 copies you get the journal, the book club and you get two tickets to a live book launch party with me. So I am going on a book tour across the country. We are throwing live launch parties in Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Dallas, Miami, New York, DC, Philadelphia and probably Boston as well.

So you get two free tickets to a live launch party with me so you can bring a friend along with the book club and the guided journal when you pre-order 10 copies. And again if you don’t have 10 people you want to give copies to or nine people you want to give copies to, you can always choose to donate your extra copies when you check out.

And then finally, if you work in a school or a company or an organization and you want to share the book with students, employees, members, or attendees of your events, if you’re a coach with a coaching program. And if you pre-order 50 copies, you get all of the above things I mentioned, and you also get a full year in the Feminist Self Help Society. You can use it yourself, you can add it to your membership if you’re already a member or you can use it, joining as a new member, or you can gift it to someone else.

And to celebrate this launch of the podcast, this week only, the week that this is released, this is coming out on March 20th. So it’s this week. Is that right? Yes. I always forget what date Thursday is. This week only we are raffling off five totally private half hour coaching sessions with me. I have not done one-on-one coaching since 2018, you all. I will probably never do it again even if I release another book. I can get more done with your brain in a half hour than most coaches can get done in a year.

So especially if you’ve been coaching yourself or you’ve been getting coaching but you’re stuck, I’m going to get you unstuck. And if you’ve never coached yourself at all, you’re going to really have your mind blown. You get one entry for each book that you purchase, so the more books you pre-order the more chances you have to win a coaching session with me. And that’s on top of all those other awesome bonuses which you also get. But to get entered in this raffle you have to pre-order this week by March 24th.

You have to pre-order by March 24th in order to be entered to win one of these one to one private coaching sessions with me. After this week, we’re going to start introducing some amazing rolling bonuses that will be available only for a limited time. But if you pre-order this week, you get everything I just told you about and you’ll get every other bonus I release as they are announced. And I’m not going to go through them all, but we have a lot of good ones coming up, a list of my favorite money thoughts that you can use to think.

You can use for your brain, a blueprint of how to use social media to improve your body image. And I’m working on something called the Encyclopedia of New Thoughts that I’m creating just for people who pre-order the book. That’s going to be a list of thoughts in any area that you can try practicing when your brain tells you it doesn’t know what new thought it could think. So those are just a few of the bonuses we’re going to be releasing in the next two months. But if you pre-order today, you’re going to get everything that comes after this.

So you want to be an early adopter, pre-order the book this week. Get those bonuses I went through, get entered one or more times in a raffle for a one-to-one coaching session with me. And you’re sure to get every next amazing bonus that comes out later. It’s the deal of the century. You can go to unfuckyourbrain.com/book, that’ll forward you to where you need to go or you can text your email to 347 997 1784 and the code word is just book, 347 997 1784 and the code word is book.

So if you’re still here, you want to hear more about the book before you pre-order, I’m happy to tell you about it. Let’s get into what’s actually in the book. The book is truly a one stop shop for learning how to become aware of your thinking and change it. So you can be the person you really want to be, not just the person that society told you, you should be. So first I want to stress, the book’s really interactive.

Every chapter, even the introduction, has written exercises that you can do with questions you answer to help you really internalize and implement what it’s teaching. So if you’ve ever listened to a podcast episode and thought, okay, great, but how do I do that? The book is going to teach you how. Even the introduction has exercises. And when you get the book, there’s going to be a QR code in the front that you can scan to get a free online workbook that has all of the book’s exercises in it.

So that way your thought work is all neat and organized in one beautifully designed place to work on as you go through the book. Do it online. Print it out and use it. But there’s a lot of interactive exercises in the book. So in the first half of the book I walk you through exactly how your brain works and how society impacts the way that you think from start to finish. And in the second half I go into different areas of women’s lives that are impacted by socialization.

So the introduction to the book tells you some of my own story of how I’ve changed my life. And it talks about what I even mean when I talk about feminism, misconceptions about feminism, how society implants sexist belief systems in your brain.

Chapter one is a deep dive into your brain, how your brain works, what thoughts even are, how they happen. So you could really understand how your brain works and why it thinks the way it does.

Chapter two, we’re going into emotions. We’re learning the three R’s of emotions. This is a new concept that I introduce in the book where I break down the three different ways that we respond to emotions, which is to react, resist, and receive. So I define those different ways of responding to emotion, and I teach you how to figure out which one you’re doing and how to change it.

Chapter three is all about thoughts, how to understand what you’re thinking, how to change those thoughts directly with new and improved directions for how to do that. How to use the thought ladder, how to brainstorm new thoughts, how to know if you believe a new thought, how to check that belief. Everything you need to come up with new thoughts.

In chapter four, I introduce a brand new concept called returns. This is a new and improved way of understanding how your thoughts impact your life. And I’ve had such great feedback from students in the Feminist Self-Help Society who already have access to that, about how it really helps them understand the impact of their thoughts and the impact of changing them in a much more clear and powerful way.

So this really replaces the concept of results that I talk about on the podcast and helps you see much more clearly how your thoughts are producing outcomes in your life in any direction. And how to use that insight to change the way you’re thinking so that you get different outcomes. So chapter four is all about returns. And if you’ve had questions about, well, are you saying I control everything that happens in my life? What am I responsible for? What am I not responsible for? Chapter four really answers those questions, really goes deep into that.

After that, we’re in the second part of the book, second half, and we’re getting into the chapters in specific areas in women’s lives. So chapter five is body image where I talk about body positivity versus body neutrality, I teach you how to have a conversation with your body. You learn how to write a body manifesto and more.

Chapter six, all about confidence and self-esteem. I teach you how to stop people pleasing, how to stop validation seeking, how to stop making everything that happens mean something bad about you. We talk about how and why we try to control other people, why it’s so painful when we can’t. How to stop trying to do that. And I address the subconscious fears about being nice to yourself that block you from actually improving your self-confidence.

In chapter seven, we talk about sex and romantic relationships. This is the longest chapter because there’s so much to cover. But if so, if you’re in a relationship where you feel dissatisfied, if you’re dating but you hate the process and you fear there’s something wrong with you because you can’t find the right person. If you’re always worried about your partner or your potential partner being mad at you or leaving you. If you struggle to enjoy sex or to want sex or to focus during sex or you feel bad about your libido or your sex life, all of you all, this chapter is for you.

You’re going to learn how to feel more secure and confident and how to stop putting your self-worth on your relationships. So you can chill out and actually enjoy dating, being with someone, making love or banging as you prefer. In this chapter, I introduce something called the four traps of romantic socialization. So this is the four ways that socialization around sex and relationships fucks your brain as a woman in this society. And then I teach you four mindset shifts to change those.

Chapter eight is all about the money, baby, money mindset. And this chapter goes through what I call the three money lies that women are taught. And then it teaches you the three money mindsets you need to replace those thought patterns. So you’ll learn how to really understand your subconscious relationship with money, which can vary based on your different identities and how to shift it.

It’s not about having to make a lot of money. Some people don’t care about that at all. But you want to freely choose how you relate to money, not be subconsciously driven by gender socialization that you’re not aware of or that you’re aware of and don’t know how to change.

Chapter nine, we are getting into the only truly finite resource, which is your time. Everything from how you organize your time to how you spend it, productivity, why it’s so hard for women to rest and relax. How to handle unequal domestic labor in a relationship. How to think about the risks and rewards of letting balls fall or slip in this area, depending on your different identities and circumstances. Fundamentally, you have 4,000 plus weeks in your life and how you spend them matters. So we really get into that in this book.

And then finally in chapter ten, we talk about how this all relates to a world that seems to need more help than ever. The state of the world can be really overwhelming. But I really believe it’s our responsibility and our privilege to manage our own minds, to try to not only improve our lives, but make the world a better place for other people. So I teach you how to get out of the kind of overwhelming, world is on fire, feeling and experience and find a way to actually make things better that you can control.

So that is the overview of the book. That is everything you’re going to learn in this book. Like I said, this is not one of those books that could have been five pages. Every single page of this book is necessary. It’s concise. It’s important. It’s succinct. It’s teaching you powerfully what you need to know. There’s no fluff and there’s no filler. So you can pre-order the book, of course, any time before it comes out, but I want to remind you why you want to pre-order this week.

Because we are offering some incredible bonuses only when you pre-order the book through us and we have an incredible bonus that’s only available this week. So I should also mention if you are in the UK, Australia or New Zealand, you guys have your own version of the book that’s coming out at the same time and there’s a link on the book site when you go to unfuckyourbrain.com/book. And you are directed to our book site. There’s a link at the top for you all.

And we have a whole system for you to pre-order the book where it’s available in your specific edition and then send us your receipt so you can get the bonuses. Same thing if you are international, if you live anywhere that is not the United States, Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. We also have a link for instructions for you so you can pre-order books and get the bonuses as well. We’re not leaving anyone out of the bonus bonanza.

So let me remind you about the free bonuses that you get when you pre-order the book. When you pre-order one or more copies you get a 30 day guided journal with 30 different prompts to help you take back your brain, start exploring your thinking, start unearthing those thoughts. So when the book arrives, you’re already off to the races.

When you pre-order three or more copies you get that journal and you get to attend my live online book club in June, where we’re going to talk about the book. I’m going to answer questions you have. You’re going to be able to get coached. We’re going to have a lot of amazing live book club interaction. It’s going to be so exciting to teach and coach and answer questions about the book with you all.

When you pre-order 10 copies, you get all of the above and you get two tickets to a live book launch party with me. I’m doing these book launch parties across the country. There’s a list of the locations on the book site, so if you pre-order 10 copies, you get the journal, you get to attend the live book club and you get to come party with me in person.

Plus, if you happen to run a book club or want to organize a book club and you pre-order the 10 copies for that, we’ll actually send you a book club in a box bonus if you want it. That has discussion questions, snack suggestions, email templates you can send out. Just makes it super easy for you to throw a book club party.

And if you work in a school or company or an organization where you want to share the book. When you pre-order 50 copies, you get everything I just described, plus a year in the Feminist Self Help Society, my feminist coaching program, which you can use yourself or gift to someone else.

And then this week only, right now, if you’re listening to this when this came out, you have to pre-order by March 24th if you want to be entered for one of five totally private half hour coaching sessions with me. Like I said earlier, I have not done one-to-one coaching since 2018, I have not offered those and I will probably never offer it again. So this is your chance. These are totally private. It’s just you and me. We’re on Zoom or even on the phone if you don’t want to be on Zoom, never shared with anyone.

It is your chance to get coaching on anything you want from me, confidentially or ask me any questions you want. So this is an unbelievable opportunity. And the way we’re doing it is, you get an entry into the raffle for every book you pre-order. So if you pre-order three books, we’re going to enter you three times. If you pre-order 10, we’re going to enter you 10 times, 50 would be 50 times and we’re raffling off five of them. So your chances get better and better the more copies that you pre-order.

This is on top of all those other awesome bonuses, but to get entered in this raffle you need to pre-order by March 24th. If you’re listening to this after March 24th, you can still get all those other amazing bonuses as long as it is before the book comes out. But if you are listening to this before March 24th, you want to pre-order this week. Why not get yourself entered for private coaching with me?

And then finally, we are going to be introducing some amazing rolling bonuses. You’re going to start hearing about those next week, meaning they’re each available only for a week. If you pre-order this week, you’re going to get all of those. So you don’t have to worry about hearing about something later on and being like, “I want that. I want the Kara’s favorite money thoughts or I want to hear that panel with Dr. Marisa Franco about friendship and thought work. Or I want the Encyclopedia of New Thoughts, the list of thoughts that I can borrow.”

If you pre-order this week, you’re going to get all of that. We’re rolling out new bonuses every week between March 24th and the week that the book comes out, which is May 20th. So that is weeks and weeks of new exciting bonuses. And if you pre-order this week, you will get everything that comes out later. If you wait, you’re going to miss some of the best bonuses. So don’t delay, just do it right now. Just do what I tell you, people.

You won’t see those new upcoming bonuses on the website because they are upcoming and they’re not available yet. But when you pre-order this week, you’re going to get every bonus I release over the next 10 weeks. It’s like a full access backstage pass. And when you pre-order this week, you’re going to get an entry in the one-to-one coaching raffle for every order.

Alright, so my recommendation, if you’re not sure how many copies to order is, I recommend, pre-order three copies. Keep one, give one or two to a friend, get that guided journal. Get to come to the live book club so we can hang out and talk about the book and I can answer questions and I can coach you. And get three entries in that raffle for one-to-one coaching when you pre-order before March 24th. Unfuckyourbrain.com/book or text your email to +1347 997 1784 and the code word is book.

I cannot wait for you all to read this. I have truly poured my heart, my soul, my brain into this book. I think it’s incredible. I’ve done a lot of self-coaching to be able to say that. And I just really can’t wait for you all to read it and be able to change your lives so much more powerfully. Let’s fucking go.